i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have...– Chuck Palahniuk, Diary (via showslow)
The worst thing about taking naps is you expect to wake up afterwards feeling well-rested but instead you feel like you died and you forget who you are
Hey girls making whining noises and other random sounds that resemble a baby is not adorable or cute or funny or enjoyable or anything so stop fucking doing it
Man I have a really nice butt now and I just bought some cute ass underwear but I have no one to show it all to, JUST LOOK AT MY BUTT
*Wakes up in the middle of the night*
Me: Please don't be 6am
Me: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME!
*Shoves face back into pillow*
It’s so sad when you actually realize that if you disappeared no one would notice. It really makes me feel so great to know that I’m not important to anyone.
When I think of love you’re the first person that comes to mind. When I think of regret you’re still the first person that comes to mind.
geeksotospeak: 99 percent of the times i see a cat, i have to drop whatever the hell i’m doing and acknowledge that there’s a cat and say hi to the cat and walk up to the cat and try to pet the cat