It’s so sad when you actually realize that if you disappeared no one would notice. It really makes me feel so great to know that I’m not important to anyone.

Alright this is getting out of hand…. But I don’t really wanna stop it

I wonder what it’s like to be a first choice because I don’t think I’ve ever felt the feeling by a boyfriend, a friend, or a family member.

Whenever I go out of my comfort zone and try to make a date with a guy, they always bail last minute. I’m starting to see a pattern… Wtf is wrong with me

I’m so unromantic I’m wearing a sports bra on a date wtf is wrong with me

Obviously I have a lot of built up feelings that I would like to get out. I’m also a little drunk so that could be a factor as to why I keep posting text posts. Dude I’m not even sad about being alone I’m just sad about how my life has become a boring bowl of cereal. That’s a terrible analogy but seriously. Like what the fuck happened. I used to have so many friends and have something to do every weekend. I used to feel loved by a small group of friends that felt like a family. Now I don’t even have someone to call my best friend. And what the hell happened to my emotions? It’s so weird. I literally cannot cry anymore. Like tears won’t fall out of my eyes when something bad happens. I don’t know how but I’ve become a hard ass. When guys try to be nice to me I’m an asshole to them and I lead them on just to cut them off. But when I like a guy it’s the complete opposite. I’m happy that I’m not depressed anymore but I’m still so confused with my life. I don’t know who the fuck I am anymore.

Waves of my depression keep coming back and it kinda scares me because I thought I moved on

I’m straightforward, I forgive easily, I listen, I give advice when needed, I care. I’m a pretty good friend. Except for when you need someone to text. Then I’m a terrible friend

Today I showed a waiter at Buffalo Wild Wings a picture of my cat. He sees the picture and says “That’s Spicy Garlic!” Apparently my cat has been walking to the restaurant and is popular with the waiters that feed him chicken because he even has a nickname……

I don’t know why I’m thinking about this right now… All I can think about are those silent moments where we would lie next to each other and be perfectly okay. I remember I would wake up Sunday mornings and be so excited to drive over to your house just so I can get back in bed with you and watch movies all day. I don’t even know why I got so excited over that because we didn’t even talk most of the time, but that’s what was so great about it all. I liked how when we first met each other, you would do anything to see me on the weekends when all we would do is sit in your car and talk. We had such a high school relationship and it was nice. I took a lot of things for granted though. I wish the memories weren’t fading so much because I always loved to look back at all the good times we had just because you made a huge impact on my life. Everything is just so fuzzy now and I can only remember certain days. It would be nice to catch up sometime but then again I’m not sure if I really want that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to accept you into my life again. It’s just so sad how people come into your life, leave a mark on your heart, then just like that they’re gone. It’s crazy to me. I’ll alway have a little soft spot for you but it’s not big enough for me to ever want to try to be friends again.

Is there something wrong with me? Am I really that unapproachable or am I just ugly? I’ve never been asked to a dance before and I know that’s not the most important problem in the world but it makes me feel bad. I listen to all of my friends getting dates and I help guys ask them but I’m always the one stuck at home. I feel like there’s something wrong with me or I’m not good enough for anyone at my school. Like I just wanted to have a good memory of prom or homecoming and I never have and probably never will… Because I’m not good enough.

Maybe if I keep getting skinnier boys will start to actually like me more

No matter how much makeup I put on to hide my face or all the cute clothes I try to wear or the different ways I style my hair, I’m never going to be pretty enough and it fucking sucks

weed and alcohol don’t make me a thinker, sad, emotional, smart, or anything like that. it just makes me happy and horny. oh yeah and super hungry.

I hate when a song reminds you of someone but you still listen to it when it comes on because you get to feel the way you did with that person again even if it is for just 3 minutes